Awesome Every Day

Jan. '12

Since the NYT is hot for lying right now, I’m going to submit my resume to them with a few fibs while the getting’s good!

Pamela Newman

________________________________________________

622 Eighth Avenue

Apartment 2b

New York, New York, 10018

punkrockpam@gmail.com

502-414-1726

Employment

Web Columnist/SEO Editor | November 2009 - Present

Writes awesome, rockstar quality articles and freelances for websites including AfroPunk.com, Louisville.com and PersephoneMagazine.com. Crowdsourcing clients include Crowdsource.com, Crowdflower.com, BuildMyRank.com and MediaPiston.com among others.

Invisible yet highly effective Reporter | Philadelphia Inquirer | January 2007 - November 2009

Wrote many opinion pieces on things going on in the world. Also appeared live at the scene of various karaoke bars.

Onscreen Reporter | CNN | May 2005 - January 2007

Talked about “News,” on TV. Wrote stuff about inconsequential happenings. May or may not have possessed the body of Geraldo Rivera several times.

Radio Host, Pam’s Awesome Smile Show | Philadelphia | Summer 2002 - Spring 2005

Wrote, produced, DJ’ed and hosted a 1 hour radio program in the nation’s 5th largest media market, on one of the first FM stations to offer live Internet streaming. Guests included the creator of NanoWriMo, local Philadelphia bands and poets.

Awards

Puliter Prize winner at the age of 7 in 1988 for her short story Princesses and Diamonds

Nobel Prize Winner for her focus on the effects of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on our everyday lives.

Education

Graduated high school at the age of 16

Attended Community College of Philadelphia with a focus in Communications, Tabletop RPGs and general tomfoolery.

University of Pennsylvania, PhD in kicking rich kid’s asses at console video games. Concentration of study and main focus at 40th & Spruce streets

University of Louisville, honorary PhD in sarcastic opinions and special honors given on her independent study of dudes who say, “I’m not racist but,” are in fact racist.