I'm Pam Newman.

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I'm a writer of aricles, poems & songs. Here's some cool stuff I wrote.

Alec Baldwin: “Where’s tumblr? Tumblr’s down, this is weak. Totally weak! YOU’RE WEAK! You can’t post because tumblr is shit. The “tumblr.” link at the top of the screen is shit. YOU ARE SHIT. I’ve been on tumblr since TWO THOUSAND FUCKING SEVEN. TUMBLR IS FOR FUCKING POSTERS!!”
*he paces around the room and someone new to tumblr looks pissed*
Alec Baldwin: “What’s the problem, pal?”
13 Year Old Girl from Wisconsin: “You— “
Alec Baldwin: “Oh… username, xxAshelyLovesKittensxx. You’re such a hero, you’re so popular at school. How come you’re coming down here wasting your time with such a bunch of bums on the internets? You see how many followers I have? You see these followers???”
13yogfw: “Yeah.”
Alec Baldwin: “That’s way more friends then you’ll ever encounter in the 8th grade! I got 35,809 reblogs on my last post! How many have you had!?!? You see little girl, that’s who I am, and you’re nothing. Like kittens? I  don’t give a shit. Post pictures of yourself from above? Fuck you! Go home and play Xbox Live. You wanna be a part of the tumblr community - POST! You think this is abuse? You think  this is abuse, you little bitch? You can’t take this, how can you take the  abuse you get on direct reference to a popular culture film you’ve NEVER FUCKING SEEN? You don’t like it, leave.”
*Alec Baldwin slaps the fucking keyboard up from under her. It crashes onto the floor. Other tumblrs stare at the keyboard, bewildered in silence*
Alec Baldwin: “KEYBOARDS ARE FOR FUCKING POSTERS, ASSHOLE. A-B-P: ALWAYS BE POSTING. NO TUMBLR FOR ANY OF YOU UNTIL YOU POST SOME QUALITY FUCKING SHIT. NOW GET TO WORK!”

Alec Baldwin: “Where’s tumblr? Tumblr’s down, this is weak. Totally weak! YOU’RE WEAK! You can’t post because tumblr is shit. The “tumblr.” link at the top of the screen is shit. YOU ARE SHIT. I’ve been on tumblr since TWO THOUSAND FUCKING SEVEN. TUMBLR IS FOR FUCKING POSTERS!!”

*he paces around the room and someone new to tumblr looks pissed*

Alec Baldwin: “What’s the problem, pal?”

13 Year Old Girl from Wisconsin: “You— “

Alec Baldwin: “Oh… username, xxAshelyLovesKittensxx. You’re such a hero, you’re so popular at school. How come you’re coming down here wasting your time with such a bunch of bums on the internets? You see how many followers I have? You see these followers???”

13yogfw: “Yeah.”

Alec Baldwin: “That’s way more friends then you’ll ever encounter in the 8th grade! I got 35,809 reblogs on my last post! How many have you had!?!? You see little girl, that’s who I am, and you’re nothing. Like kittens? I don’t give a shit. Post pictures of yourself from above? Fuck you! Go home and play Xbox Live. You wanna be a part of the tumblr community - POST! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you little bitch? You can’t take this, how can you take the abuse you get on direct reference to a popular culture film you’ve NEVER FUCKING SEEN? You don’t like it, leave.”

*Alec Baldwin slaps the fucking keyboard up from under her. It crashes onto the floor. Other tumblrs stare at the keyboard, bewildered in silence*

Alec Baldwin:KEYBOARDS ARE FOR FUCKING POSTERS, ASSHOLE. A-B-P: ALWAYS BE POSTING. NO TUMBLR FOR ANY OF YOU UNTIL YOU POST SOME QUALITY FUCKING SHIT. NOW GET TO WORK!”

  1. hipppocrite reblogged this from shorterexcerpts
  2. shorterexcerpts reblogged this from isay
  3. isay reblogged this from awesome-everyday
  4. hih0whigh reblogged this from awesome-everyday
  5. awesome-everyday reblogged this from awesome-everyday and added:
    I think this is one of the best things I’ve ever put on the Internet.
  6. hellobitchpudding reblogged this from dederants
  7. dederants reblogged this from awesome-everyday and added:
    This is amazing.
  8. aigret reblogged this from awesome-everyday