Awesome Every Day

15

Mar. '11

After discovering that children had given up books for youtube and Playstation 3, Cinderella began the initial descent into the dark world of methamphetamines.

“I tried to explain to her that magic doesn’t work when you’re cracked out like that,” said her Fairy Godmother when interviewed by TMZ. “She just didn’t care about the magic anymore. It was like she didn’t believe in her own story.”

Cinderella is among many children of Grimm who are suffering from addiction.

We all surely remember last year when Snow White was found trembling in granny smith orchid, surrounded with half eaten apples. One dwarf who refused to be identified said that she was trying to find a poisoned apple to, “go to sleep forever and be freed of this fucking world.”

White was last publicly seen in the middle of the road on the way to the Muffin Man’s house, clawing at her own skin. An eyewittness, The Raven said, “She kept repeating that she would make her snow white skin as red as an apple, and eat it’s poison. Nevermore!”

For years Snow White has been silently suffering from night terrors. Her obsession with finding a poisoned apple trees led to the decay of her sanity and a cocaine overdose.

No Handsome Princes made themselves available for comment.

• 4:59pm

• 15518 notes

• tags: fairy tales 

• via: ohthetumblarity

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