I'm Pam Newman.

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I'm a writer of aricles, poems & songs. Here's some cool stuff I wrote.

I just made this AWESOME grilled cheese sandwich, and you can too.
The measurements for cheese are “Enough to cover a slice of bread”
Gouda
American Cheese
Sharp Cheddar
Bacon
Wheat bread
An apple
1/4 cup of water
Teaspoon brown sugar
A couple of teaspoons of red wine (I used merlot)
Butter
Okay look. 
If you know how to make grilled cheese, I trust that you are creative, resourceful and whole enough to fry your bacon responsibly and that you know what to do with that cheese.
I’m gonna tell you what to do with those apples.
Slice up the apples pretty thin & core them, or do it the other way. This is your show, homie. 
Place the apples, one layer thick in the pan. Turn the heat on about medium-ish. Pour the water over top of the apple slices, add the brown sugar and the wine, let it get boil-y. Check on those apples until they are soft.
Then pluck them out of the sugar wine water, and stick those puppies on top of some cheese in that sandwich, and fry it up.
Bliss shall be yours too, my friends. 
And so it shall be.
 

I just made this AWESOME grilled cheese sandwich, and you can too.

The measurements for cheese are “Enough to cover a slice of bread”

  • Gouda
  • American Cheese
  • Sharp Cheddar
  • Bacon
  • Wheat bread
  • An apple
  • 1/4 cup of water
  • Teaspoon brown sugar
  • A couple of teaspoons of red wine (I used merlot)
  • Butter

Okay look. 

If you know how to make grilled cheese, I trust that you are creative, resourceful and whole enough to fry your bacon responsibly and that you know what to do with that cheese.

I’m gonna tell you what to do with those apples.

Slice up the apples pretty thin & core them, or do it the other way. This is your show, homie.

Place the apples, one layer thick in the pan. Turn the heat on about medium-ish. Pour the water over top of the apple slices, add the brown sugar and the wine, let it get boil-y. Check on those apples until they are soft.

Then pluck them out of the sugar wine water, and stick those puppies on top of some cheese in that sandwich, and fry it up.

Bliss shall be yours too, my friends. 

And so it shall be.

 

ONE DOLLAR SUBS AT ALL JIMMY JOHN’S IN LOUISVILLE, CLARKSVILLE & NEW ALBANY TODAY FROM 11AM - 3PM, Y’ALL.

ONE DOLLAR SUBS AT ALL JIMMY JOHN’S IN LOUISVILLE, CLARKSVILLE & NEW ALBANY TODAY FROM 11AM - 3PM, Y’ALL.

Reese’s Peanut Butter and Chocolate cake from Homemade Ice Cream and Pie Kitchen. 

Reese’s Peanut Butter and Chocolate cake from Homemade Ice Cream and Pie Kitchen. 

LOOK AT THIS! IT IS AN ICED CHOCOLATE PARFAIT.
GOOD LORD.

LOOK AT THIS! IT IS AN ICED CHOCOLATE PARFAIT.

GOOD LORD.

IT IS TIME FOR BARBECUE

It’s hot out, so clearly it is time for meat and other things burned for eating enjoyment!!

I don’t have any more beers. Might have to make a run.

I’m making chicken wings which I covered in a rub consisting of lots of garlic powder, salt, black pepper & paprika. I hacked the kraft bbq sauce by adding leftover rub, soy sauce and a little crushed red pepper. 

I’m READY (save the missing beers bbq’ing while drinking a beer is an american tradition)

TAKING BETTER CARE OF THIS BODY I LIVE IN
Dude, I buttoned up this dress today, and it was t-i-g-h-t.
Between that, a family history of diabetes and getting lightheaded after eating cheeseburgers, I guess a bitch is gonna have to consider eating healthier. I’ve done pretty good with that so far this week. I’ve been eating a lot because I’m on the rag, but I’ve been eating lots of healthy-ish stuff.
Honey Nut Cheerios instead of candy, sugar free fruit bars instead of ice cream, veggie burgers instead of cheeseburgers. I usually only eat wheat bread, and I also like veggies, I just need to be eating them more frequently.

TAKING BETTER CARE OF THIS BODY I LIVE IN

Dude, I buttoned up this dress today, and it was t-i-g-h-t.

Between that, a family history of diabetes and getting lightheaded after eating cheeseburgers, I guess a bitch is gonna have to consider eating healthier. I’ve done pretty good with that so far this week. I’ve been eating a lot because I’m on the rag, but I’ve been eating lots of healthy-ish stuff.

Honey Nut Cheerios instead of candy, sugar free fruit bars instead of ice cream, veggie burgers instead of cheeseburgers. I usually only eat wheat bread, and I also like veggies, I just need to be eating them more frequently.

I AM PISSED OFF (A rant about grocery stores & Institutionalized Racism)

I live on the west side of Louisville in Parkland (a mostly black neighborhood). I have lived in the Highlands (a mostly white neighborhood), had an address in Clifton (a mostly white neighborhood), and I also lived off of Poplar Level road (a slightly more diverse neighborhood).

The only grocery store within walking distance of my home is the Kroger at 28th and Broadway. This is a smaller Kroger… at least by my perception, and it has a smaller selection of fresh fruits and veggies than the supermarkets in the neighborhoods where I used to live.

So, today I had a pot luck to attend. In normal Pam fashion, I hadn’t prepared anything, so I went to the grocery store at 28th & Broadway to figure out what I was bringing. I had a taste for strawberries & whipped cream, so I figured I’d get some fresh strawberries. It’d be at least a little healthy, and still be a fun thing to eat.

When I enter the store, I see that strawberries are on sale. I look at them, and pick up a package, and walk away. I look at the package, and a few of the berries are moldy. One is pretty beat up. Oh crap. I have to put that back. I can’t take ugly, nasty berries to a pot luck!

Then it happened.

I looked at another package of strawberries… it was gross too. Then another. And another.

AND ANOTHER.

I LOOKED AT EVERY FUCKING PACKAGE OF STRAWBERRIES, AND I DIDN’T SEE ONE GOTDANG PACKAGE THAT WASN’T SOMETHING I COULD TAKE OVER A STRANGER’S HOUSE.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

I am a human being. I like fresh fruits & veggies. I also like to buy these things at places close to my home. I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to sit back and say, “Well, that’s okay. They can give me AN ENTIRE FUCKING SHELF OF BERRIES WITH NOT ONE ACCEPTABLE PACKAGE and I’ll fold my hands and say nothing.”

Hell to the naw.

I’m pissed! I’m talking about this!

This would have NEVER. EVER. EVER. IN A MILLION YEARS happened in the Highlands Kroger. No! I always was able to pick up strawberries, avocados, fresh spinach and didn’t even have to bother inspecting it. Shit was fresh, and plentiful!

Not at 28th and Broadway.

That’s fucking racist, and I’m going to keep talking about it until someone from Kroger does something about it, because I’m mad.

entertainmentweekly:

That’s right — there is now an official Game of Thronescookbook. And while it doesn’t include a recipe for sauteed horse heart a la khaleesi, it isstuffed with Westerosi dishes that actually sound scrumptious… as well as a guide to making honeyed locusts. We interviewed the authors of A Feast of Ice and Fire about the challenges of cooking fictional food, weird medieval recipes, and which fantastical world they’d like to tackle next. Hint: It rhymes with “Larry Totter.”

I AM NOT MAD ABOUT THIS AT ALL, BECAUSE READING THOSE BOOKS MAKES ME HUNGRY.
THERE NEEDS TO BE A BONUS BOOK ON HOW TO BREW ARBOR GOLD.

entertainmentweekly:

That’s right — there is now an official Game of Thronescookbook. And while it doesn’t include a recipe for sauteed horse heart a la khaleesi, it isstuffed with Westerosi dishes that actually sound scrumptious… as well as a guide to making honeyed locusts. We interviewed the authors of A Feast of Ice and Fire about the challenges of cooking fictional food, weird medieval recipes, and which fantastical world they’d like to tackle next. Hint: It rhymes with “Larry Totter.”

I AM NOT MAD ABOUT THIS AT ALL, BECAUSE READING THOSE BOOKS MAKES ME HUNGRY.

THERE NEEDS TO BE A BONUS BOOK ON HOW TO BREW ARBOR GOLD.

A sumptuous tale of the 2012 Derby Eve Gala Southern Soiree

It is not quite often that freelance writers and artists are afforded an opportunity to attend a first class, all amenities included ball like the princesses in Disney films, so excuse whatever gushing may occur in the following paragraphs. 

[…] perhaps about 20 minutes and two vodka cranberries later, the staff arrived with mini crab cakes topped with a belly button of remoulade sauce. These were served attached to skewers poked through the sides of the delicate crab cakes, so drunken fingers didn’t end up squashing these delectable little treats. 

THIS PARTY WAS FREAKIN AMAZING. I had such a great time. Rosella really captured it well in all the photographs, too. There are more photos attached at the bottom of the story on Louisville.com.

pocketdonut:

liquidiousfleshbag:

cupcakes-for-breakfast:

Peanut Butter Ball Chocolate Cupcakes With Peanut Butter Buttercream | Love from the Oven

OH MY GLOB

This is turning me on.

WOAH NELLY
HELLO NURSE
WHATCHU TALKIN BOUT WILLIS
DID I DO THAT
DAMN
GUESS WE’RE GONNA NEED ANOTHER TIMMY
ALVIN!

pocketdonut:

liquidiousfleshbag:

cupcakes-for-breakfast:

Peanut Butter Ball Chocolate Cupcakes With Peanut Butter Buttercream | Love from the Oven

OH MY GLOB

This is turning me on.

WOAH NELLY

HELLO NURSE

WHATCHU TALKIN BOUT WILLIS

DID I DO THAT

DAMN

GUESS WE’RE GONNA NEED ANOTHER TIMMY

ALVIN!

mexicanfoodporn:

en hilerita como me gustan
in formation just how I like them

I want to destroy these tacos with my digestive system.

mexicanfoodporn:

en hilerita como me gustan

in formation just how I like them

I want to destroy these tacos with my digestive system.

I ate the Taco Bell Doritos shell taco today.
The verdict:
It tasted dry, and was not an improvement on the previous model.
It might be better as a taco supreme with sour cream and tomatoes, but I’m iffy about trying that. Also? The paper shell is a waste of space, because you still end up getting Doritos dust all over your fucking fingers.
Two out of five fucks given about this product, post tasting it.

I ate the Taco Bell Doritos shell taco today.

The verdict:

It tasted dry, and was not an improvement on the previous model.

It might be better as a taco supreme with sour cream and tomatoes, but I’m iffy about trying that. Also? The paper shell is a waste of space, because you still end up getting Doritos dust all over your fucking fingers.

Two out of five fucks given about this product, post tasting it.

missworded:

BEHOLD:  THE MAGIC OF S’AMOARS!
My husband, the world’s greatest brain and also having of a nice butt, invented S’amoars this weekend and I had to share the magic.
Step 1:  Obtain Samoas by any means necessary.  But don’t knock down a Girl Scout.  That’s not nice, and bad feelings turn the Samoas.  True story.
Step 2:  Get some big, fat marshmallows.
Step 3:  Get a big stick with a pointy end.
Step 4:  Oh, yeah, roast the shit outta that marshmallow!  Play safe with fire, kids.
Step 5:  Lay out two Samoas, bottoms up.
Step 6:  Say a prayer to Cookie Monster to bestow blessings upon ye.
Step 7:  Squish the marshmallow between the Samoas.
Step 8:  WAIT.
Step 9:  Wait for it….
Step 10:  Yes, you can wait.  You must let the marshmallow melt the chocolate on the Samoas.  This is not a step to skip, Hurry McGhee.
Step 11:  MOUTH ORGASM.  OMG IT’S SO F*&^ING GOOD!
Step 12:  Repeat steps 4-11 until you pass out into a sugar coma, probably after two more.

missworded:

BEHOLD:  THE MAGIC OF S’AMOARS!

My husband, the world’s greatest brain and also having of a nice butt, invented S’amoars this weekend and I had to share the magic.

Step 1:  Obtain Samoas by any means necessary.  But don’t knock down a Girl Scout.  That’s not nice, and bad feelings turn the Samoas.  True story.

Step 2:  Get some big, fat marshmallows.

Step 3:  Get a big stick with a pointy end.

Step 4:  Oh, yeah, roast the shit outta that marshmallow!  Play safe with fire, kids.

Step 5:  Lay out two Samoas, bottoms up.

Step 6:  Say a prayer to Cookie Monster to bestow blessings upon ye.

Step 7:  Squish the marshmallow between the Samoas.

Step 8:  WAIT.

Step 9:  Wait for it….

Step 10:  Yes, you can wait.  You must let the marshmallow melt the chocolate on the Samoas.  This is not a step to skip, Hurry McGhee.

Step 11:  MOUTH ORGASM.  OMG IT’S SO F*&^ING GOOD!

Step 12:  Repeat steps 4-11 until you pass out into a sugar coma, probably after two more.

lilianag:

so sad that this could be accomplished in britain, but is apparently an unthinkable action here in the u.s.  if only people could see past the future of their own pockets and into the future of our planet/the human race.

sorry to sound like such a hippie today.

#this is a 99% blog