I'm Pam Newman.

I am awesome every day & you are too.

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I'm a writer of aricles, poems & songs. Here's some cool stuff I wrote.

I am not here for the clean version.

How to listen to it

  1. Rachet
  2. Loud

Part of Your World - The Little Mermaid

So, this is described as the “I want,” song for the musical that is the animated Disney interpretation of The Little Mermaid. I often think about the irony of how most folks want to have mermaid hair, swim in the sea with dolphins and give and whale penises, while Ariel’s dream was to become human.

Ultimately, Ariel sacrifices her amazing singing voice and everything about her that makes her a mermaid (which is desirable to all us feet-having street-walkers) for some dude she barely even knows. Not a feminist tale, and also sort of disappointing to a c culture filled with people aspire to be mermaids.

Okay, so the point of me posting this today is not to get gritty about the grimmer aspects of how Disney has adversely effected several generations of people who just want long red hair. No.

I’ve been singing this song in the shower a lot lately.

I also, admittedly am dealing with some of my own Ursula-sized demons. Old shit, related to depression, anxiety and a general sense of everything fucking sucks. But I’ve been working on it with the help of some professionals, amazing friends and the healing power of love and compassion.

Anyway, I’ve been singing the little mermaid song in the shower and crying about it. When I’m crying about this song, I imagine the world I want to be a part of as a place that likely exists, but feels just as mythic and far away as the beaches and strolls Ariel envisions.

I have an entire trove of whosits and whatsits, just like Ariel. I have tools like meditation, taking bike rides, talking to friends, seeing therapists and chemical medicine on my side. I even have healthy coping strategies, a kind compassionate partner and amazing supportive friends galore. You want nice coworkers? I have nearly twenty.

But who cares? No big deal. I want more!

I want to live like the sane people do. Walking around not worrying about their next panic attack. The winter arrives and they’re not … what’s the word? Concerned! When’s it my turn? Wouldn’t it be great, not to let sobbing alone make me late. Wondering free. Wish I could be, part of that world.

Okay, so. Yeah.

Look, feeling sane isn’t a place I can just give up my voice for and go strolling in to. I know that.

But the line, “Bright young women, sick of swimming, ready to stand!”

That’s my shit right there! I am sick of swimming through the sludge of depression, and the hot lava of anxiety … getting burned left and right. I feel like there truly is a change coming. I’m about to push off my old shore and make some positive changes in who I am and the spaces I hold.

Hopefully, these are changes that occur not just for me, but for the people I care about. For people who I come into contact. For you. We can all be part of that world.

From the article:

[…] it is a story that needs to be told. The documentary “Afro-Punk” did a great job of opening the initial door that allows people of color to show their underground stripes. However, as a woman, there is more to say, and Dawes does service to this by offering a beginning look into the female perspective of being attracted to and participating in the metal, hardcore and punk scenes.

Michael Jackson - Leave Me Alone

awesome-everyday:

Regina Spektor- Consequence of Sounds

I am in head-over-heels love with this song. It can totally be in my wedding party when I get hitched to a plate of nachos.

Regina Spektor, a fellow Aquarius, touches on a variety of social issues in this song. Violence, reluctance to resist, and how many of us are forced to rot away in cubicles. It reaches into very sensitive places in my musical and social nerves, while both plucking at them and soothing them. 

Consequence of Sound is a raw, passionate, organic smoothie of social commentary. This song gets me emotional, when I think of how viciously true some of the little snapshots Spektor offers actually are. 

Sweating like demons they scream through our speakers, but we leave the sound on, ‘cause silence is harder.

I feel like this particular line speaks volumes.

We often find the sound of our own solitude too loud, so we turn up the volume with booze or reality tv or other things that do not truly serve us. The western wold is abundant with poisonous escapes. Many portals into avoiding our own demons are reflective of our own. The easiest escapes often boil up negative imagery, but we’d often rather have negative imagery than no images at all.

Oh my gosh, this song is my everything today. 

I really needed to hear this. Maybe you did too.

awesome-everyday:

Freedom - Anthony Hamilton & Elayna Boynton 

Okay, I posted this song a little over a month ago, and it requires a revisit. 

This song is from the Django Unchained soundtrack. It plays during the scene where Django is recalling the time when he and Broomhilda decided to attempt to escape from their plantation and ruthless slavemasters who refused to recognize their marriage.

Jamie Foxx and Kerry Washington hold hands, running through a field in the sun while sweating with angry white dudes on horses right on their heels. I bawled at that scene like it was the end of Beasts of the Southern Wild, y’all.

Not giving up has always been hard
But if I do things the easy way, I won’t get far

It’s an incredibly powerful and moving moment, and the feel of this song— it gives the scene a sort of power it wouldn’t have if there was simply some bland escape music. 

Anthony Hamilton expertly navigates the yearning for a better life through poetic verses that feel like church and history and something Langston Hughes might have conjured up.

There’s gotta be a wind in my bones

It erupts deep, historical feelings in me, no matter how many times I hear it. Musically it takes me in a time machine that connects me to people and happenings and injustices that have changed forms but still exist.

I am looking for freedom
Looking for freedom
And to find it may take everything I have 

What really speaks to me, is that both characters in this song are speaking about weakness. They are aching and hurting in an unavoidable way, but relying on the fact that without hope, faith or strength, things are just going to stay the same.

Life hasn’t been very kind to me lately
But I suppose it’s a push for movin’ on
In time, the sun’s gonna shine on me nicely
Somethin’ tells me good things are coming
And I ain’t gonna not believe

Furthermore, Freedom makes me think of the social justice struggle, and how it’s not work filled with wins and big changes. There’s a lot of hard, emotional work to put in, but I ain’t gonna not believe.

Get an earful: JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE AND JAY Z JAMMIN IN SUITS
Justin Timberlake’s new Jam, Suit & Tie, featuring Jay-Z.

Get an earful: JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE AND JAY Z JAMMIN IN SUITS

Justin Timberlake’s new Jam, Suit & Tie, featuring Jay-Z.

Rihanna - Diamonds

I freaking love this song.

The song was co-written by Sia Fuller, who I just love. Her voice is right in my range, and she’s very skilled, so learning her songs is always a fun challenge for me.

Sia is actually a well-trained jazz singer, but her pop albums are so beautiful! If you listen to Sia’s pop work, she is a very powerful singer who has a particular style of grouping harmonies.

Actually, the first time I heard Diamonds, I thought that Rihanna was Sia.

That observation speaks volumes about Sia’s songwriting style, which is beautiful and easily invokes the deepest emotions one can conjure (If you need some proof, check Sia’s artfully crafted waltz, Soon We’ll Be Found).

My observation also speaks volumes about Rihanna’s uncanny ability to meld her vocal style with great songwriters. There’s a reason Rihanna is a famous singer. She’s adaptable, and has the unique skill that allows her to sound good in basically any genre. 

I know, there’s someone thinking, “She’s no Beyonce,” but seriously, let’s be fair. NOBODY IS BEYONCE, okay? Michael Jackson was no Sammy Davis Jr who was certianlly no James Brown.

Rihanna is glorious, and her presentation of Sia’s vocal style is impressive.

I wanna kiss you, every minute, every hour, every day.

—The Darkness has some unrealistic expectations about how often I’d be available for kissing.

britticisms:

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Another year, another excellent collection of songs. This is my biggest list of favorite songs yet and this by no means covers all of the excellent music that’s been released this year. Around the end of the month, when I’ve got nothing else to do except eat and sleep, I tend to “discover”…

This is a comprehensive list of the the tastiest tunes from a lady with good taste.

Coasters - Love Potion Number 9

thegreatpumpkin:

It wouldn’t be Halloween without it.

Thriller

Teena Marie - Lovergirl