I'm Pam Newman.
I am awesome every day & you are too.
Follow my butt on Twitter!
I'm a writer of aricles, poems & songs. Here's some cool stuff I wrote.
Blog posts are usually first drafts.
Marianna aka @WritingInBed
She said that to me nearly a year ago, and I try to remember that when I’m reading Tumblr posts.
It is especially helpful when I go back and read stuff I posted on tumblr and am tempted to make the Grudge sound.
Absolutely. I don’t even know how I would handle being in your presence.
I might actually cry sniveling tears of joy to have both a beer and a plate of nachos with you, Marianna.
Should I take a chance and fall for someone? ;)
there are finnnnneeeeee dudes on the interwebs but they’re either seeing someone, already have feelings someone, or they read my blog and know I’m hopeless.
Hey fine dudes, you should
not follow Marianna and then give her a call.
Here is a testimonial:
She is one of those Californa Gurls. Marianna is cute, smart and funny. She also has nice hair.
Yesterday after bonding over nachos and agreeing that we both miss the good ol’ days, I dubbed Marianna my IBF.
This article is really awesome, and hits how I feel about a lot of things right on the nose, in regards to money and being a young woman with dreams and passion to create.
It’s downright nasty how incredibly fucked the economy is (I mean, look at the OJ shelf at the supermarket. Shit costs more than petrol!) and creating the future we really want for ourselves.
Marianna was also cool enough to include me in this article. This is some fantastic writing to absorb on a beautiful Autumn morning.
A few others, unnumbered:
- Chatting with Pam and her butt.
- Jack In The Box tacos
- Podcasting with Stephanie and Paige
- Gummy Worms
- My brother’s pics of Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick posing with his Space Shark character
- Myrna being the designated driver so I can smoke a cigarette with my right hand
- Text Messages from anyone
Aww, snap! That’s sweet, Marianna. Thanks!
I feel that when it comes to feeling empowered as a woman, it’s really hard to find encouragement and inspiration from where our first impressions lead us to think we’ll find it.
For example, I know that a lot of women were really proud of the Beyonce video, the one boasting that women run the world. I also know that there were a lot of other women who weren’t thrilled about it.
I merely watched the video and perceived it as entertainment, not empowerment.
It was fun to watch but it didn’t move me to feel anything other than entertained. So I read around to different blogs to see what women are sharing about dating, friendships, and everyday situations.
Many of us are concerned about race issues, politics, romantic relationships, online dating, finances, and finding our purpose.
My first piece for HelloGiggles received feedback rather quickly from a woman who wasn’t amused at the discussion on “husband hunting,” which I only used as a joke. I’m obviously not husband hunting. That’s not a priority in my life at the moment.
However, the fact that she had a problem with women who seek out marriage caused me to think about whether we are supportive of each other or if in the process of seeking to empower other women, we’re really just pushing each other down.
I don’t know much about feminism and it’s mostly because I am not interested in lengthy discussion about why women don’t earn as much money as men, why getting married is considered an oppressive institution, and a variety of other topics with which I disagree.
All I know is that there are definitely a few things I can list as being capable of making me feel empowered. Though I can only examine my current station in life, this is what I have learned makes me feel like I can run my life, which is fine enough for me:
· Unconditional Support: Knowing that my closest friends may not always agree with what I want to do but they will help me along the way. And when a friend takes a road that doesn’t appeal to me, I can choose to take the walk with her because in life you sometimes need someone on your side no matter what.
· Loving Women, Even If You Feel You Can’t: When I was younger, it was all too easy to get mad at other girls and hate their guts. There is nothing empowering about feeling angry with someone who did or said something that was upsetting. In fact, it never helped my case at all to be angry at another woman.
· Letting Go: I spent years holding onto old grudges. In fact, I’ve walked into birthday parties only to feel the great discomfort that comes from other people rolling their eyes because they don’t like me. It makes you feel like shit. But I found some empowerment in thinking, “My life doesn’t affect yours. You are fine where you are, away from me, and I’m okay with that. You should be okay with it too. No law here states we need to speak to each other.”
· Knowing Who You Are: I realize that sometimes friendships and other relationships will have to come to an end. Sometimes they don’t end well, unfortunately, and when that’s happened to me, I would then find myself feeling depressed and worried about someone’s opinion of me. But since when does an opinion change the way I live my life? We can’t change the fact that people are going to exercise their right to run their mouths. I can’t change what anyone has said or will say about me. But I am in complete control of the way I treat people and I am in complete control of the love and affection I can give to them, if they accept it. While criticism might make me feel powerless for a moment, it will not dictate the outcome of my life and how I will best serve those who come into it.
I know I will continue to read the awful things women say about other women. That won’t ever stop. But it would help if they took a moment to stop and realize that maybe Feminism sometimes caves in on itself when it shuts other women up just because they don’t feel the same way about the roles we have in society.
If I decide that perhaps I want to marry and have children, I shouldn’t have to hear that I’m setting “the movement back” x amount of years. Whether I marry a man or not doesn’t set back any kind of progress. What will set things back, however, is if I have a daughter and then raise her to think that she has to attack other women to feel better about herself. I will set her back if I mislead her into thinking that “all men are the same” rather than teach her how to properly choose the right men to invite into her life.
I’m not trying to make a statement about Feminism or gender roles. I’m just saying that if we’re not encouraging each other, then there’s no empowerment, and we also shouldn’t confuse entertainment with empowerment. And this is a first draft on a personal blog, so there’s that as well.
Note: This is an exploration and not definitive of anything. Still living and learning.
If you like reading good stuff and you’re not following Marianna, you might wanna jump on that.
It’s not like I wanted you or anything. I mean, First Date, that was ENOUGH.
2nd Date, you must be a fool. There you are, lingering in my doubtful mind, teasing me with possibility until enough days, sometimes weeks, have passed that I can finally start to realize that you are the myth of my late 20’s.
You used to come around a lot more. I have this almost fleeting memory of you from when I was younger and you wouldn’t even wait for the fires of passion to cool. You’d be there with the bellows before I could finish tying my laces.
Wherever you are now, I haven’t lost hope. I know you’re peeking from around the corners. What’s wrong? Were you afraid I’d fall in love and you would have a hard time sneaking out?
When things get too fun, don’t run away.
Pick up the phone.
Push the little buttons.
Let me know you’re ready to fulfill your rightful destiny: 2nd Date, 2nd Base.
Every Single Woman Who Had So Much Fun On 1st Date
You can find my interweb friend Marianna on twitter: @writinginbed
Pam convinced me to tell this story properly.
Thursday I went to UCB with Jon (@senderblock23) and Trisha (@Im_Trisha). When the show ended, I had to pee (thanks to 2 pre-show vodka tonics) and was told by UCB staff to go next door to Birds to handle my business.
I get in there and I’m waiting in a short line. One girl comes out of the stall and she’s wearing a black maxi dress. She’s washing her hands and looking a bit lethargic.
She then walks over to the mirror I’m standing next to and she is looking at herself with slow eyes and then I realize, oh shit she’s way drunk. I was afraid she would turn and vomit on me, but she did me one better when she reached in under her dress and pulled out the toilet seat cover tissue paper thing because she apparently didn’t realize it was stuck to her ass.
This leads me to think that a. she wasn’t wearing underwear?? or b. it got stuck to her unders and that’s still pretty gross.