I'm Pam Newman.
I am awesome every day & you are too.
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I'm a writer of aricles, poems & songs. Here's some cool stuff I wrote.
You must see this! The Black Venus Project
Authentic, Timeless and Overdue photography by Maxim Vakhovskiy
These are SO gorgeous. I really want to be a model for this project. Every photograph is so alive and honest. I’ve never really wanted to do nude modeling before, but these are so lovely.
There’s truth in these pictures.
I spend a lot of time thinking about my own mortality, and how everybody gets old, and eventually dies. I don’t think it’s particularly morbid, it’s just something that happens. I like to make plans, and think about the future.
I’m 30 (31 on the 31st!!), but think about what life will be like in 2031. I’ll be 50, then. I think about what future will be like, and how effectively I’ll be able to interact with it, at that age.
Anyway, in the past four or five days, I have met a bunch of gorgeous, kickass black women. A lot of them have kids, professional careers and what not. Many of them revealed to me that they are 50, or are going to turn 50 this year.
My mind was so blown that I had to pick up bits of my frontal lobe out of their fresh hairstyles.
I met a woman this afternoon who I assumed was two or three years older than me. Naw, y’all. This bitch is 50, and will turn 51 this June!
They all have smartphones, iPads or whatever and use Facebook. They’ve eagerly adapted to the world around them, and are nothing like my/their parents in regards to the ability to quickly understand technology. I mean, 50 feels a lot younger to me than it did 11 years ago when my mom hit 50, and 9 years before that when my aunt turned 50. Maybe it’s just that I gained some perspective, but these women are different.
These women? They don’t look or feel as… well… old.
There’s a serious generation gap between the 50 year olds and the 60 year olds, imo. Boomers & the beginning of Gen X are light years away from each other in so many different ways.
It gives me hope for what I, and the other 30 year old ladies walking the earth are going to be like when we hit 50, and how fucking hot we’ll be.
Fair or Not?: The Snow White Complex
Directed by: M. Hasna M.
“Fair or Not?: The Snow White Complex” is a documentary about Eurocentric standards of female beauty that are held across most (post-Colonial) cultures.
Some of the topics covered: Skin color preferences in relation to class/culture, the media’s role in exacerbating internalized racism, skin bleaching products, exoticism of dark-skinned women, and the phenomenon of tanning amongst White women.
WATCH THIS NOW. WATCH IT.
Its moments like these where I love tumblr for the things that randomly show up on my Dash. I might forward this to a professor I know. Watch everybody!!
I had a really interesting discussion about identity, self hate, cultural capital etc with my BFF today and it got me thinking of Margaret Bowland’s selection of paintings of young black girls in white face. When asked to comment on ‘Kenyetta and Brianna’ Bowland that ‘It is a commentary on how women still have to jump through all these hoops to be desirable. These girls are still visible beneath all those layers of crap … they’re still looking back at you.’ I think that a lot of black girls looking at Bowland’s paintings would say that the metaphor transcends beyond the art world. For many black girls Bowland’s paintings are a life metaphor - reflecting a reality where black girls are often marginalised by European standards of beauty. I agree with Cherise Kramarae when she states that ‘For women of color who are viewers, trying to achieve idealised femininity entails not only adjusting or refining one’s body, but also rejecting one’s identity and certain characteristics altogether. To resist this artificial standard is to stand apart from beauty as defined by society’. The frustrating thing for me is that even if you put the fact that there is very little aesthetic diversity across all media platforms to the side, in the black community we impose European standards of beauty on each other with a vengeance. It’s black men that make fun of Alek Wek and it’s black girls arguing about natural hair v relaxer/weave war (e.g ‘These little nappy headed hoes need a terminator’ - Nicki Minaj) etc. It’s this infighting that is the real tragedy.
Somebody told a lie and we believed it.
A Girl Like Me
Here’s some background on this video/documentary:
”The Clarks’ doll experiments grew out of Mamie Clark’s master’s degree thesis. They published three major papers between 1939 and 1940 on children’s self perception related to race. Their studies found contrasts among children attending segregated schools in Washington, DC versus those in integrated schools in New York. They found that black children often preferred to play with white dolls over black; that, asked to fill in a human figure with the color of their own skin, they frequently chose a lighter shade than was accurate; and that the children gave the color “white” attributes such as good and pretty, but “black” was qualified as bad and ugly. They viewed the results as evidence that the children had internalized racism caused by being discriminated against and stigmatized by segregation.
The Clarks testified as expert witnesses in several school desegregation cases, including Briggs v. Elliott, which was later combined into the famous Brown v. Board of Education (1954). The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that racial segregation in public education was unconstitutional.
In 2006 filmmaker Kiri Davis recreated the doll study and documented it in a film entitled A Girl Like Me. Despite the many changes in some parts of society, Davis found the same results as did the Drs. Clark in their study of the late 1930s and early 1940s.”
For most of 2009 my hair was purple. I really loved my hair like that. I think I’ll dye my bangs purple this year. Upkeep on a full head of purple hair is a pain in the ass, but it looks SO GOOD on me.
In 2009, I worked at a “professional,” office job doing tech support, software QA & end user training.
Why I dyed my hair purple was two-fold:
- I had really been wanting to dye my hair a fun color for a long time, and I had a hairstylist at the time who was totally game to do it.
- I was working for assholes.
Okay #1 is pretty self explanatory, but let me lay down the boogie on #2.
I was the only Black person in my office. They were owned by this rich right-wing conservative guy who was totally cool with having alcoholics and sociopaths work for him, but threatened to drug test us regularly.
He said some subtly racist shit to me & my co-workers about Obama a couple of times, even though the people who worked in my department were obviously democrats and I was/still am very obviously a black woman.
I wore my hair natural a lot. I also wore chucks, tee-shirts and other non-professional things. I mean, I wore dresses, slacks and cute stuff as I felt like it, but mostly I wore chucks and jeans.
I’m really not one for dress codes unless there’s a provided uniform. I’m gonna wear what’s in my closet already. Anyway, I’m awesome. Directly due to that I was eventually promoted to a position where I was out of the office a lot. I did software training with our clients [read: teaching middle-aged ladies how to use a mouse/windows/the internet].
They all loved me. I’m just as good at training as I am at getting strangers to like me & hear me out within a short period of time. Our clients were very happy.
I got pulled into our HR manager/CFO’s office once. She told me that my ‘fro was unprofessional and that it was freaking out our clients. She wanted me to change it.
At first I did nothing. I thought about what she was asking me to do and why. I guess she thought rural southern white folks might be intimidated by my curly fro. Maybe they thought I wasn’t combing it or whatever they wanted to think about my hair… Maybe I was just TOO Black for her taste. At the end of the day, they totally learned everything I came to teach them, and most of them even ended up liking me & vice versa.
So I really didn’t see a problem with my hair at all.
But I kept getting asked to change it. HR/CFO lady even offered take me to a “Professional makeover workshop,” where I’m sure they would have wanted me to get a relaxer. Fuck all that.
So I went to my hairdresser and told her that I needed my hair flat ironed and dyed purple. It cost me about 90 bucks, and I got compliments from everyone, including my mom.
I even let it fro out in the purple sometimes, which was ultra-cute.
Here’s your straight hair, CFO bitch. Professional makeover that.
So here we go! I ordered this Carol’s Daughter “Best Tressed,” hair care package.
I’ve been reading a lot about how awesome everyone says Carol’s Daughter is, and I’ve been looking for something amazing for my natural hair for some time. I really like Kinky Curly, but I also need a good shampoo that smells good and an oil moisturizer.
The kit I ordered has all of that and more. You can check it out at the Carol’s Daughter website.