I'm Pam Newman.
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I'm a writer of aricles, poems & songs. Here's some cool stuff I wrote.
The Kentucky Derby is a classist, racist, capitalistic handjob for the rich.
BUT DAMN CAN THIS CITY THROW A PARTY, OR WHAT?
Okay, so I hate the Derby, horse racing and how it’s an open display of animal abuse which has a long history of rich people humping their rich vaginas all over the faces of the poor while wearing fancy hats. I have been to a total of 3 Derby parties in the 6 years I’ve lived in Kentucky. One of which was an unwelcome surprise interruption to a planned afternoon nap by an inconsiderate ex-roommate.
That left a sour taste in my mouth, but I’ll let you in on something that is in no way a secret: I’m a sucker for fancy dress parties, man.
So here’s the story.
Tonight for Louisville.com, friend and fellow non-conformist Rosella Pearl (real name, no gimmicks) and yours truly are taking my press creds and going directly into the belly of the beast— A fancy dress party that’s $300 dollars a seat, and $3000 dollars a table. A Derby party filled with some of the hoity-est, toity-est medical professionals in the city:
The American Lung Association’s Derby Eve Gala at the Seelbach Hotel.
The Bar Belle, aka Sara Havens wrote a really cool piece on the Seelbach for the LEO this week. In it, she chats with this old dude who talked her ear off about pretty much everything regarding the Seelbach Hilton, and the only AAA 5-diamond restaurant in Louisville.
Who’s got two thumbs and is gonna EAT THERE TONIGHT? THIS GIRL (AND HER GOOD FRIEND ROSELLA WHO TAKES AWESOME PHOTOGRAPHS).
Additionally, T.I.’s fine ass is in town. I didn’t find out until a few hours ago. I would really like to be covering his party at the expo center, but I have a feeling that Louisville’s finest scantily clad ladies will be duking it out with Tiny for his attention, so I’m better off at the Seelbach Hilton hotel. Maybe that’s where he’s staying, and they’ll invite me for a threesome and some top shelf booze?
Everything’s coming up Millhouse.
I have a few goals for tonight, which I’ll list for you in no particular order:
Goal Number One: Use my new press credentials for the first time! I’ve been writing for Louisville.com for nearly a year now, and finally they’ve issued me some physical press creds (way more useful than street cred), and this is a perfect virgin voyage for their value.
Goal Number Two: Eat and drink ALL THE THINGS. I love eating food, looking at food, writing about food, and I’m sure this meal will be worth of all those loves.
Goal Number Three: Look fabulous. Like I said, I’m a sucker for a fancy dress party. I’m gonna wear the dress I wore to the Grammys. If it’s good enough for a nationally televised awards show, I’m thinking it’s good enough for a Derby party.