I'm Pam Newman.

I am awesome every day & you are too.

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I'm a writer of aricles, poems & songs. Here's some cool stuff I wrote.

On the real?

Chips and queso have been 70% of my food intake today.

Reasons number 1 - “I’m Too Lazy” why I’ll never be an Olympic Champion 

Reasons number 1 - “I’m Too Lazy” why I’ll never be an Olympic Champion 

(Source: janisessupermarket.com)

The Pam Newman Diet*

Candy for breakfast, a salad and nachos for lunch and two 16 ounce beers and two frozen waffles for dinner!

You’ll be telling bitches exactly what level of hell to go to, writing hilarious articles and make working folks jealous of your funemployment in no time! Get those swim trunks, boys and get your bikini’s ready, ladies, because you’ll be ready to not give one, single fuck after a few weeks of the Pam Newman Diet.

*The Pam Newman Diet makes no claims to actually helping anyone lose weight. In fact you’ll probably gain weight. The two beers are interchangeable with coffee past 6pm, diet coke and/or diet coke with vodka. No responsibility is taken by the Pam Newman Diet or its partners for the sleep you miss because you’re drinking so much caffeine after a reasonable time.

Please consult a doctor, or better yet, a mental health professional before you take diet advice from someone with no nutrition background other than eating all of the veggies off of her plate as a child.

deadgrass:

soon.

UNF

deadgrass:

soon.

UNF

hailmaryjane:

Taco Bell Launching Breakfest Menu Next Week

I, FOR ONE, WELCOME OUR NEW TACO OVERLORDS.

hailmaryjane:

Taco Bell Launching Breakfest Menu Next Week

I, FOR ONE, WELCOME OUR NEW TACO OVERLORDS.

shana—e answered your question: 15 days until my birthday! How are you planning to celebrate me?

nachos

Celebrating Pam Newman’s Birthday: You’ll be doing it right.

This sounds like HEAVEN

shana—e replied to your post: So I really am applying to the New York Times

Yes! You will get the job and move to NYC like me and then we will find a couch (where I do not know) to sit on while we smoke jazz cigarettes, suggestively tweet Iwan Rheon, and eat all the nachos. Speak it into existence!

THY WILL SHALL BE DONE!

I can even see the couch. It is mauve, and it exists in a 3rd floor loft in Manhattan, and nobody’s struggling to pay the rent. Takeout is on the way, and a bottle of wine is on the floor, sweating from how awesome everything is.

YESSSS

OH I FORGOT THE MOST IMPORTANT UPDATE!

  • I ate 3 plates of nachos yesterday!

Kicking off the holiday weekend with a couple of pints of beer and internet access.

Whatup tumblr?

How are you spending Festivus/Christmas Eve/The 4th & 5th day of Hanukkah/Friday/Saturday? (Trying to make this applicable to time zones, too. It’s already the 24th on a lot of the planet.)

I’m going to try and get some work done while I drink beer, eat nachos and interactin’ with my TumblFrinds.

Damn, these nachos are so fucking fly that I had to reblog them. 

Damn, these nachos are so fucking fly that I had to reblog them. 

muroo:

In honour of Nacho day for Pam. And those things behind them? Mac and cheese wedges. Yeah. I win food today.

muroo:

In honour of Nacho day for Pam. And those things behind them? Mac and cheese wedges. Yeah. I win food today.